Managing Your Own Emotions

Managing Your Own Emotions While Training a Reactive Dog

Training a reactive dog can be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences for any dog owner. The journey is often filled with stress, panic, fear, and even embarrassment, as your dog’s behavior draws attention or disrupts daily life. While much of the focus is on changing your dog’s reactions, it’s equally important to address your own emotional responses. After all, your dog’s progress is closely tied to your ability to remain calm, consistent, and confident. Let’s explore the emotional side of training a reactive dog and how to navigate it with compassion for both yourself and your dog.

Having a Reactive dog is TOUGH!

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Reactivity

The Initial Stress

When you first realise your dog is reactive, it can feel overwhelming. Whether it’s lunging at other dogs, barking at strangers, or freezing at unfamiliar sounds, the behaviors can disrupt the life you envisioned with your dog. Many owners feel guilt, wondering if they’ve somehow caused the reactivity, or frustration when progress doesn’t happen as quickly as they hoped. Recognizing that these feelings are normal is the first step toward managing them.

The Panic and Fear

In the moment of a reactive outburst, it’s easy to feel panicked or scared. Will your dog hurt someone? Will they hurt themselves? This fear can cause you to tighten the leash, raise your voice, or otherwise react in ways that escalates the situation. Learning to stay calm during these moments is crucial, not only for your dog’s sake but for your own mental well-being.

The Embarrassment

Public incidents can leave you feeling judged by others. Whether it’s a stranger offering unsolicited advice or a disapproving glare, the social pressure can be intense. It’s easy to internalise these moments, leading to shame or avoidance behaviors, like walking your dog at odd hours or avoiding public spaces altogether. Acknowledging these moments as just moments, is key and learning to be a goldfish can really help.

Rest is an important part of behaviour modification

The Role of Your Own Emotional Healing

While it’s important to focus on training your dog, addressing your own emotional state is equally vital. Many reactive dog owners discover that their dog’s behavior triggers unresolved fears or anxieties within themselves. This could be fear of losing control, past trauma with animals, or even a deep-seated fear of judgment.

Acknowledging these feelings and working through them is a transformative part of the journey. Here are some strategies to help:

1. Practice Self-Compassion

Give yourself permission to feel frustrated, scared, or embarrassed without judgment. Remind yourself that reactivity is not a reflection of your worth as a dog owner. Celebrate small victories, and don’t compare your journey to others’.

2. Focus on What You Can Control

You can’t control every trigger your dog encounters, but you can control your preparation and response. Equip yourself with tools, like high-value treats, a sturdy harness, or a clicker, to feel more confident during walks. The more prepared you feel, the less likely you are to panic.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Breathing Techniques

In moments of stress, your dog can pick up on your behaviour (don't believe that mumbo jumbo about dogs reading your emotions, they aren't some mystical unicorn with psychic powers) but your behaviour can be a clear indication to your dog. Perhaps you tighten the lead when their trigger appears, are you call them in a panicked tone. Practicing deep breathing or grounding exercises can help you stay calm. For example, before responding to a reactive episode, take a deep breath, count to five, and exhale slowly. This not only calms you but also helps your dog.

4. Seek Support

You don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Join a community of reactive dog owners, either online or in person. Sharing your experiences and hearing from others can reduce feelings of isolation and provide valuable tips. If your dog’s behavior triggers deep-seated fears or past trauma, consider working with a therapist who can help you process these emotions.

5. Reframe Your Mindset

Instead of viewing your dog’s reactivity as a problem, see it as an opportunity to deepen your bond. Every challenge you overcome together strengthens your relationship. Remember, progress is not linear, and setbacks are a natural part of the process.

Building Resilience Together

Training a reactive dog isn’t just about teaching your dog to stay calm; it’s about growing as a team. As you learn to manage your own emotions, you’ll find that your dog’s behavior improves too. By staying calm and being confident in how you deal with situations, you are setting your dog up for success.

Celebrate every small win, whether it’s a quiet moment during a walk or a successful redirection from a trigger. These victories are proof that both you and your dog are capable of growth and change. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help—from trainers, therapists, or fellow dog owners.

Ultimately, the journey with your reactive dog is as much about transforming your own mindset as it is about changing their behavior. Embrace the process, and you’ll come out stronger—together.